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Hi
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Mar. 19th, 2006 @ 11:41 pm
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Nov. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:55 pm
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Dont expect me to write in this piece of shit anymore, cya |
Sweet, I cant make it to any funerals wednesdays, not even my own godfathers....
but i love this song,
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
Did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in a war,
For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
Current Mood:  tired Current Music: Pink Floyd- Wish you were here |
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ughhh
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Oct. 10th, 2005 @ 02:31 pm
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Seriously I got to thinking, 2005 overall has just sucked. On my
birthday, we got news that Adam Psolas brother Ian was involved in a
tragic accident while at his military base in North Carolina. At
first adam thought he was going to be okay. But a week later it
was a given that he wasn't going to make it. Ian died at the age
of 22. It was hard because a bunch of us knew him since we were
little, and we used to look up to him. Kind of like a big
brother. Then everything happened with cory, and now
leanne. Even though i hardly knew her, its still shocking because
youd see her in the halls at school and she's someone from your
hometown. You wonder how something could have been so bad for her
that the only solution was to take her own life. Its just
shocking. And today I just found out my godfather died from his
injuries in a car accident he sustained last thursday. Ive dealt
with so much death in my lifetime, i just wish it would all end.
I hate going to funerals, and after with what happened with cory, Its
hard for me to go to the cemetary because he's buried really close to
my grandma. My grandma should still be alive right now. She
died at the age off 66. She should still be here to have
watched all of her grandchildren graduate and to see my older sister
get married. Every day when i was little my mom would drop me off
at her house so she could babysit me, and Every Tuesday and
Thursday we would go to merricks in downtown ishpeming, and have lunch
with her friends. I still miss her to this day, because she was
one of the closest friends i have ever had. I would visit her
grave on a constant basis, but lately I havent because its just to much
to deal with now. I cannot wait til the year closes out.
Hopefully 2006 will be a lot better.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
See your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe your gone
It ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today
Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Someday's the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy
It ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today
Today Today Today
Today Today Today
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday
Someday, someday Current Mood:  blank Current Music: Kenny Chesney-Who youd be today |
RIP John Fomish 11/14/1917-10/09/05 :(Current Mood:  sad Current Music: tv |
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RIP Leanne
...another young one lost
Oct. 9th, 2005 @ 01:30 pm
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I just dont fucking care anymore. Im gonna have to learn not to give a shit, and to just not be there for anyone anymore. Because i always try to be there for my friends, but in reality when i think about it, i only have 3 or 4 ppl that really look out for me now. And those individuals will be the only ones that ill be there for now. And thats sad really, because Ill sit there and listen to a problem someone has, and well, in the end, I get shit on. Im sick of my friends saying all this shit to me, and in the end, none of its true. Its superficial. Complete bullshit. If you dont mean it, then dont say it. Plain and simple. I get bitched at for not calling anyone, well how about when i call and leave messages on ur phones and u dont even bother to call back. I make the effort to meet up with ppl i havent seen in a while, and they dont even have the goddamn common courtesy to call me back. Then when i ask why they didnt call back, ill get some lame ass excuse. Dont ever say that Im not there for anyone anymore, because ive made the effort. And most of you are to goddamn blind to see that. So this is me saying I dont give a damn anymore. Dont EVER accuse me of not making the effort, because I have. How many times I have been there for my so called friends? In my opinion, one to many. Im not a doctor phil. Im not someone that you can just lay all of your problems on, then just shit on me afterwards. If this has hurt anyone, well the point of this is that the truth hurts. Doesn't it? Most of you dont even have a clue what im going through right now, and it has added to the fact that i am so frustrated right now. I am not looking for sympathy or anyhting of that sort, im just setting the record straight. Dont say shit to me that you dont mean, im fed up. And right now, ireally dont care who ive pissed off or have upset, because maybe thasts how i feel right now. Deal with it. Im giving you a taste of your own medicine. And for those of you who think this is geard towards you, well its not. You can ask me if it is, and ill tell you striaght up whether it is or not. Truth is, im only going to be there for the people that actually care, because they have been there for me.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 @ 11:26 pm
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| » who cares |
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dont it make you get teary , the world looks dreary
When you wipe your eyes see it clearly
There's no need for you to fear me
If you take your time to hear me, maybe you can learn to cheer me
It aint about black or white, cuz we're human
I hope we see the light before it's ruined
Those who wish to follow me
I welcome with my hands...
Oct. 3rd, 2005 @ 05:58 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Might not be such a bad idea if I never... never went home again
Oct. 1st, 2005 @ 01:24 pm
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Homework has made my life a living hell
Sep. 22nd, 2005 @ 05:57 pm
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| » well |
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weekend was alright. Went to the ish homecoming game and watched my WW boys get absolutely murdered. Then me mendel huey muck ann and joe went to mendelsohns and sat under the "pine tree". Wow that was a fun night. Last night was aight, came home today for a lil bit, then drove back up here cause i got homework to do, and kelly is gonna come visit me; But yea i need a shower cause i feel like shit.
Sep. 18th, 2005 @ 03:17 pm
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mendel 263: i have a problem
mendel 263: 5 o clock isnt even bad tasting anymore
lol oh shit lmfao
Sep. 13th, 2005 @ 11:54 pm
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fuckin eh
Sep. 13th, 2005 @ 11:40 pm
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| » to the bros |
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A shout out to the bros..to chum who is being shipped out to Iraq, be safe, all your bros have you in our prayers. To shawn, who decided to go with his dad to New Orleans and help out with the relief effort, just please, dont fuck anything up over there haha..love ya dude cya after thanksgiving...and to Big P..aka Adam. Be safe as well dude, Ill see ya in December when ya get back from boot camp. Maybe by then, your rediculous smoking habit will have vanished. Right now your probably going crazy for a Marb Red. Enough Said
Sep. 11th, 2005 @ 09:13 pm
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| » yada yada shit |
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Why even worry about it...
Sep. 8th, 2005 @ 04:41 pm
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| » idk |
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I know it's past visiting hours
But can I please give her these flowers
The doctor dont wanna take procedures
He claimed my heart can't take the anastesia
It'll send her body into a seizure
The little thing by the hospital bed, it'll stop beeping,
Hey chick, im at a lost for words
What do you say at this time?
Remember when I was nine?
Tell her everything gone be fine?
But i'd be lying, the family crying
They want her to live, and she trying
I'm argueing like what kind of doctor can we fly in
You know the best medicine go to people thats paid,
If Magic Johnson got a cure for A.I.D.'s
And all the broke muthafuckers past away
You tellin me if my grandma was in the N.B.A.
Right now she'd be ok?
But since she was just a secretary
Working for the church
For thirty five years
Things sposed to stop right here
My grandfather tryin to pull it together, he strong,
Thats where I get my confidence from
I asked the nurse "did you do the research?"
She ask me, "can you sign some t-shirts?"
Bitch is you smokin reefer?
You dont see that we hurt
But still...
...I smile
The roses come to see me
And I can't wait for a sunny day
(Im seeing it through your eyes)
Can't wait for the clouds to break
They outside of the emergancy room, room
You can feel my heart beat, beat, beat
If she gone pull through
We gone find out soon
But right now she sleep, sleep, sleep
My mama say, they say she could pass away any day
Hey chick what these doctors know anyway
Let me see the X-rays
I ain't no expert, I'm just hurt
Cousin Kim took off for work
Plus my Aunt Shirley, Aunt Beverly, Aunt Claire and Aunt Jean
So many Aunties, we could have an Auntie team
Feel like Amerie "Its this one thing"
When they said that she made it
You see the eyes gleam
I think we at an all time high
To get there we run, we fly, we drive
Coz with my family we know where home is
So instead of sending flowers
We the roses...
I smile
The roses come to see me
And I can't wait for a sunny day
(Im seeing it through your eyes)
Can't wait for the clouds to break
Who brings the sunshine?
Ohhhhh I smile
The roses come to see me
And I can't wait for a sunny day
(Im seeing it through your eyes)
Can't wait for the clouds to breaK
Sep. 7th, 2005 @ 01:02 am
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| » school |
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well, school has been alright so far, i got a break inbetween classes so im just sittin here. I have class again at 9:35, the another one at 11:05 and im done by 11:55. Then i have to come here and finnish writing my paper thats due at midnight tonight (fuck). Then I get to go to work til 7, then spend most of my night in the computer lab. aka ill be doing homework all day again. Ill probably skip my math class tm cause its pointless, and then my last day of school for the week is Thursday. Fucking first night of nfl regulaur season kicks off. IM STOKED BIATCH. Ok im out peace
Sep. 6th, 2005 @ 09:13 am
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| » Wow |
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Wow, New Orleans pretty much doesn't exist anymore, Ive enver seen images so fuckin depresssin
Sep. 1st, 2005 @ 03:40 pm
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College has been alright, last night me and the dudes next door played football in the hallways, which is like 4 feet wide..it was fun until some mother fucker went and told on us..well all i can say is..ill kill the kid the next time he walks past my door..ill throw my minnie football at his face..well classes started today..not to bad actually..but well im out...so yea..fuck off
Aug. 29th, 2005 @ 01:03 pm
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| » College |
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Orientation sucks, but I dont think the school year is going to be that bad. My schedule rocks my world, and most of all i got lucky and am on the floor with all the girls HAHAHAHAHA...then again the downer is this..our freshman class has 1,400 students..of those students..243 of those are girls....haha and we have already been told that were the worst freshman class in years...and we've only been here for 3 days..sad sad world..but i gotta jet..i got a meeting with my advisor in 15 to discuss my major and my plans for a career (he's gonna laugh when i tell him what i wanna do)..check yall later..call my cell so we can chat it up..281-4518
Aug. 23rd, 2005 @ 06:38 pm
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